That stage really didn’t last so long after 2nd man and I got married. I worked as a teacher for a while and home matters became important to me. That’s when I moved into being a “pretty good youth pastor’s wife”. My list in the above paragraph started with some pretty vain and superficial things. That’s because teenagers, most of them, tend to weigh things heavily on the superficial. It was in this second stage that I started realizing myself, how vain and superficial these things were. I began growing more of a hunger for God as I matured personally and spiritually. However, I soon grew frustrated with the teens at this point. Wondering why they didn’t “get it.” I was frustrated at many of the decisions that they made and overall didn’t understand them. I had always thought I was given the gift of mercy. But it was at this point that I had begun dreaming up a book with the title “Losing Mercy.” It was like the mercy well ran dry.
It’s lately, as my kids are growing and (hopefully) I am too, that I feel like I’m growing back into a “good youth pastors wife”. Only, this time it is in a totally different way. Oh, I still get frustrated with the teens (don’t let me lead anyone astray in that area). We have some girls that place a person’s value fully on how they look. Others are so needy they’d wear out a listening dog. However, I feel that God has done a work in my heart with regards to extending mercy. I am able to find more time to meet with girls if needed and my own children are not as constant in the realm of training. We’ve now been in the ministry long enough to see some come through some really rough times and grow into Godly adults. That’s encouragement that supports my motto “They’re not who they’re going to be.” I still fail in my perspective sometimes, but on average, I’m able to enjoy the teens again. They’re vivacious and idealistic and so full of potential. Some of them are so much further in their walk with Christ than I was at their age. I can only imagine what great things God can do with them. Others…well…could care less.
2nd man just shared last night with the youth workers something that he heard recently that really spoke to me. He had been listening to another preacher who challenged ministers not to be “accusers of the brethren” before God. Constantly complaining about church members and trying to “sick” God on them, that’s Satan’s job. Ouch! I certainly don’t want to be doing the job of Satan! I’d rather be an intercessor for the brethren, especially our teens as they grow and learn. I’m so thankful for the mercy that is made new everyday to me…I sure do need it. I’d also like to extend that same mercy to others.
Maybe, some day, I’ll be a “great youth pastor’s wife” again. However, I think if I ever reach that stage again, it’s going to be in a much deeper, loving and spiritual way. Really, my only job is to be the best Christian I can be, serving, honoring, and glorifying my Lord. My prayer is that I would be as pleasing in his eyes as I possibly can be at whatever stage I am going through.