It’s been kind of hard to write anything witty this week. We’re having revival services at church with Bro. Sam Davison from OKC. On top of that I’m in the middle of reading a very sobering book. It’s called Tortured for His Faith by Haralan Popov. These two have me very sensitive to the things of the Lord right now.
The book is about a pastor in communist Bulgaria in the late 1940s –50s. He spent 13 years in prison being tortured simply for his faith. He did no wrong and yet was considered (by the prison rating system) to be more dangerous than murderers. His treatment was simply horrendous as well as the treatment of his wife and children who weren’t in the prison, but were being ostracized in the community.
It makes me; 1. Inspired to be a stronger Christian, 2.Thankful, to be an American, and 3. Burdened more for those who are persecuted around the world still today. It also makes me feel shameful for my lack of care of others as well as my petty problems. I think sometimes I’d complain if they hung me with an old rope. Or is it new rope? I can’t even remember, but you know what I mean. My whining is shameful in light of my easy life here in the United States. Why is it that we (ok…I) can get so self- centered that I think my life is supposed to be blessed, prosperous, and full of reward? I’m never given that promise in the Bible. Yet, it’s as if we’re indoctrinated to this entitlement philosophy.
Then, combine that feeling with the driving home force of revival preaching. The first night, I was convicted of some of my “feelings” lately. Aren’t feelings funny things? They come and go on a whim. I’m actually excited how God is working on me in this area. It’s not fun, but such needed growth. At the invitation, I “felt” like I just wanted to grab someone and unload all of my feelings. I don’t know…I guess it’s nice to have a listening ear and someone to vocally say “it’s gonna be ok.” Or “I can’t believe that happened to you,” or something like that. But, instead, it was like God put a hand on my shoulder and said “Let’s keep this between us.” I want to be someone who turns to God first. However, instead, I’ve always included him with everyone else that would give me a response. It’s refreshing to lean only on Him. I can only hope he’ll keep working on me, and I’ll keep allowing it.
Anyway, this post may seem very rambling, but they are thoughts that I’m heavily pondering as of late and I want to remember them.