Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Parenting

Perks in being the 2nd mans kid

     There are some perks to being the child of a 2nd man, specifically a youth pastor’s kid.  Since it was our oldest daughter’s birthday this week we chose to let her have a big party.  She was allowed to invite 10 girls, which was a monumental task in and of itself.  Since she knows most all of the kids in the church and is friends with many, we had to help her by narrowing it down to her specific grade in Sunday school.  I had to stealthily hand out invitations around church the week before the party, trying not to offend anyone who was not invited.  I’m not really a big “all nighter” kind of gal, ( I know, not a good trait in a youth pastor’s wife….deal), so we told her that it would be a set time party, but she could pick 1 person to stay the night.  They were given strict instructions not to talk about spending the night, because, again, feelings might get hurt. 
     So you may be wondering “where’s the ‘perk’ aspect to all of this hidden party stuff?  Doesn’t sound very fun when you’re trying so hard not to offend anyone.”  I’ve realized by now, that  I can’t totally get around everyone’s feelings, so I try my best and let the Lord handle the rest.  He’s the only one who really knows my heart is not in the business of purposefully offending.  We try not to imprison our kids to the chains of people pleasing.
     The perks come in the party part.   We hosted a pizza panic for this years party.  A scavenger hunt of sorts where the girls had to go around town to pre-planned homes and build a pizza in order.   Boy, did they get into it.  Most of the girls had never participated in a party like this before.  Some of them had heard about it from their older sisters in the youth dept. when they had one last year.  It’s times like these when we know we can pull games out of a bag that may be stale to the teens, but these pre-teens just eat it up.  I think my daughter kind of likes that aspect of having a zany dad that has experience hosting these kinds of things.  A dad that has all the details down like music for the car, how to pick teams fairly, and how to organize activities to extract the most fun out of the evening. 
     I like that she likes this.  There are many times in ministry, when 2nd mans focus is on the teens.  He’s an excellent father and very involved.  However, it is a fact of life that our lifestyle and his job means that were busy most nights of the week.  Sometimes, they don’t see much of him or are dragged around to different places with all of the teens.  They are privy to seeing teens who rebel and break our hearts and watching some of the bad choices.  It’s my prayer that they will watch and will learn from it.  It’s also my prayer that they’ll also notice the good.  The times when they get to stay after church for parties for teenagers, even though they aren’t teens.  The times they get to play around the church when nobody else is there.  And even the times they get to benefit from the preaching at conferences and camp, by renowned men of God.   It’s not all fishbowl and tattling.  And hopefully they appreciate the perks and the parties.

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